You’re sitting around for hours and hours
Waiting for an operation
With a gown that’s open down the back
It’s enough to cause a heart attack
You’re so full of t... Read More
There was hurrying and scurrying
For word had got around
That a fashion show was coming very soon
And the ladies were so busy
And growing rather dizzy
From organising, morning... Read More
I’m worried about SUVs
Could someone enlighten me, please?
Are these vehicles breeding?
Is anyone heeding
The ominous warning about global warming
From carbon emissions?
... Read More
We were getting ready for Y2K
Preparing against that fateful day
Should the power fail, we were on the way
With a kero lamp, and a spirit stove
That we’d fossicked out of a t... Read More
I just love it when a salesgirl calls me, ‘Darling’
I have to turn my head to hide a smile;
Just because my hair is white
Does she think I’m not too bright?
Or worse ... Read More
I’m sick of seeing blokes on bikes
Their swept-back helmets and lycra shorts
And muscled legs pedalling furiously
I’m really feeling out of sorts.
They ride in packs; i... Read More
The newspaper is delivered every morning
Most days it hits the ground just after flve
And upon its safe arrival
Does depend my own survival
For the crossword makes my brain c... Read More
I’m sick to death of cooking shows
I’m sick to death of cooking
I’m sick to death of cooking shows
I’m sick to death of looking.
At chefs who prance around the ... Read More
Cleopatra bathed in asses’ milk
She was a famous beauty,
Most folk use soap and water
It really is our duty
To keep ourselves quite fresh and clean
And cause no-one offence, ... Read More
First there were fowls, now there are porkers
Spreading flu all over the world
And it’s such a shame that all of the blame
Lies on creatures whose tails are quite curled.
When we... Read More