I just love it when a salesgirl calls me, ‘Darling’

I have to turn my head to hide a smile;

Just because my hair is white

Does she think I’m not too bright?

Or worse still does she think I’m senile?

Time was, when the customer was ‘Madam’,

Most salesgirls were quite haughty and aloof

Now things are in reverse

Are they better or much worse?

It may be that soon I’ll hit the roof

For ‘Sweetie’ ‘Pet’ and ‘Honey’

Are terms I can well do without

Even if they are most kindly meant

And if I hear much more of them

One day I’ll open up and shout

Until all my indignation is quite spent

I have rehearsed a little speech

Which sometime I will make –

Providing that I have nerve enough –

‘I’m not your darling my dear girls

Although I’m old I’m really rather tough

So call me madam if you please

While you are down upon your knees-

No, after all, upon reflection,

Just make a simple genuflection’.