Whoever invented fitted sheets has a lot to answer for.

Long ago all sheets were flat, and that was well before

Clotheslines had shrunk, and backyards too,

And retirement villages were so new.

 

Well, I'll admit, when making beds it was quite a chore

To tuck the flat sheet round the mattress,

Not too far from the floor.

Now, of course, it's just a breeze

But there's always something to displease.

 

Once you are past the use-by-date

It is your most unwelcome fate

To get the washed sheet on the line.

When that's achieved, you don't feel fine.

 

But once it's dry there's worse to come

And that will make you go quite numb.

It's to be folded, it should be flat.

Now, how do you arrive at that?

 

O inventor of the fitted sheet

Would that you could my task complete

And fold the sheet so nice and neat!