I love to hear the kookaburra’s laugh

And the magpie’s song gives me such a thrill;

The colours of the lorikeet are a wondrous work of art,

But for the peewit I have nothing but ill will.

 

It is one bird I’d really like to choke

If only I could catch it, it’s no joke

When it leaves a message on my back verandah –

Why can’t it pick on somewhere else

When it’s wanting to meander?

 

It’s hard enough to keep the dwelling clean

When you’re not as spry as when you were eighteen.

Just when you think all is done and dusted

There’s something else that has to be adjusted

With a broom, a hose and a fair amount of bleach –

The peewit’s not the only one to screech.

 

I’d a deterrent, so I thought,

An owl that turns its head ‘twas bought

To scare away this wretched bird

That makes me use a naughty word.

But now it’s not a novelty

The peewit’s snarl enough to see that it’s not real.

 

Oh how I feel I’d like to get hold of a snake

That would be quite enough to shake

The peewit’s fascination,

and frighten it to be rid of this abomination.