Your local supermarket

Is just the place to be

There you can see the growing trend

Towards obesity.

Dress sense is appalling,

Some don't bother wearing shoes

And there's a never-ending stream

Of the latest in tattoos.

Now, shorts are great in summer

For the young and not-so-young -

If only more material

Were over the backside hung.

I really do not want to look,

I'd rather gaze inside a book,

Alas, right there before my eyes

Is a half-bare rear of extra size.

Life is full of mystery

And sometimes I do guess

Why people will adorn themselves

With this inky tattoo mess.

I've heard it's quite expensive,

So their cash must be extensive.

Does part of it come from my tax?

Oh dear, I fear, I can't relax.