You must soak your feet in vinegar

Before you go to bed,

And it must be apple cider vinegar”

The lady podiatrist said.

 

I had a nasty toenail

That wasn’t getting better

And so I thought I’d follow

These instructions to the letter.

 

I put a dish on the bathroom floor

Close to the loo – lid down –

And there I sat with my feet submerged

In cider vinegar – Brown.

 

And I thought of the places these feet had been

In the Old World and the New,

And how, when I was seventeen

They’d dance the whole night through.

 

And then I had another thought,

One that my fancy tickled;

Just like a jar of onions

These feet of mine are pickled!