How do you know you are old?

When do you get the first glimmer?

For the mirror can lie

If you pass quickly by

And you don’t give a damn you’re not slimmer.

You’ll admit you’re a grandma or granddad

And you do take a nap after noon,

But you feel really young

Though a slip of the tongue

Can make you feel you’re a goon.

Though your teeth can take time off

And go out at night

And sometimes you have pains and aches

You still don’t feel old

Until one fatal day

Self esteem stamps hard on the brakes.

You’re leaving the supermarket-

“Have a nice day”-

That’s bad enough, so I’m told;

But when “sweetie” or “honey” are added

That’s when you really do know you are old.