Santa Claus was working overtime

And came home very late

His wife was waiting up for him

With his dinner on a plate.

But when the clock struck half-past three

Her patience had worn thin

She heard his footsteps on the path-

She grabbed the rolling-pin.

She flung the door wide open

And then stared in some amazement

For Santa and the reindeer

Had collapsed upon the pavement.

In all their years together

No matter what the weather

He had never been so tight

That he couldn’t stand upright.

But now, she thought, the time had come

But he’d not had one drop of rum

Nor even one small glass of stout

He simply was just tuckered out.

Then Mrs Santa felt alarm-

How had her poor man come to harm?

She helped him up to come inside

And as she sat him down she cried-

‘It really is beyond belief

To see how you have come to grief

For it is now our summertime

And Christmas bells just do not chime

When you and all the little elves

Are meant to be just stacking shelves!’

And Santa said ‘Of course my dear,

As you well know I bring good cheer

When snow is firm upon the ground

The sleigh glides on without a sound.

But we’d been summoned from the south-

The order came by word of mouth

And later was confirmed by phone-

I really couldn’t go alone

But the reindeer thought it a mistake

Especially in our summer break.

I’m getting on, out of condition

So this has been our final mission

To those damned Aussies, let them cry,

There’ll be no more Christmas in July!’