I’m feeling quite antagonistic

To ants who’ve invaded my home

I know that we live in the Antipodes –

That’s no consolation when down on my knees

I’m scrubbing and spraying and having a moan

About needing to get right down on the floor.

 

But that’s nothing when compared to finding out

There are more of these pests than I thought there would be –

I think I could do with a nice cup of tea.

 

There’s one more hurdle before I put on the kettle.

When you’re not twenty-one, and you have to stand up –

That’s really a test of your mettle.

 

I know folk will say ants are some of God’s creatures

But I think these invaders have no redeeming features –

Especially now when I’ve just used the spray,

Another battalion is coming my way.

 

I collapse on a chair, and of tea take a slurp.

Would there be any ants if I lived in Antwerp?