We had friends who lived up country
And I was a city slicker.
When we paid these folk a visit
I did things that made them snicker.
First, I washed the baby’s nappies
In a tub that stood outside,
But when I pulled the plug out
There came a foaming tide
That flooded out upon the ground
And over my two feet.
Though it caused a deal of merriment
My thoughts weren’t very sweet.
I passed a rather sleepless night,
And when the morning came
As I turned the feather mattress
It really was a shame
To see the downy filling-
One side low and one side higher.
No wonder that I hadn’t slept-
I’d been lying on the wire.
At the time of which I’m speaking
Power hadn’t been connected.
Light was courtesy of kero lamps,
I never had suspected
That it would be such a struggle
To light the blessed things.
To remove the glass was bad enough
When it was full of wings.
From every moth that made its way
Towards that pungent light.
And then, I’m very sad to say
It was not a pretty sight
As I dropped the glass and broke it
And by the time we left
There was a trail of shattered glass;
Our friends were quite bereft.
I think their tears were of relief
And as we drove away
I made my mind up there and then
That nevermore I’d stray
Far removed from city comforts
And I haven’t to this day!