Have you ever smashed a plate

While you’ve been on a date

Where you’ve seen a lissom dancer

Shake her belly?

Was the music very loud

Was she rather well endowed?

When you watched her

Did your knees quite turn to jelly?

Smashing plates is a tradition that is Greek,

And definitely isn’t for the meek

Or those who are never flash with cash-

For, any china that they have

They do not trash.

I had neighbours once, who

When they’d done a round or two

In an oft-recurring fight,

Would smash crockery, left and right,

And, generally, it was on a Friday night.

Now take a tip from me,

When inviting Greeks for tea,

Though your cuisine may be a culinary delight,

Keep them seated at the table

For as long as you are able,

And ensure the Royal Doulton is out of sight.